The good, the bad, and the ugly of social media

Do you think of blogging like you think of Facebook or Instagram?  Or are you more drawn to Pinterest?  Is there somewhere else that you are drawn to? I am here to talk to you about the good, the bad, and the super ugly of our social media world.  Well, just how I see it. 

I remember before I was pregnant, I didn't know what Facebook was.  It was started in 2004.  I wonder why on earth I wasn't on there blasting my infertility journey, my soon to be belly pictures, or anything else.  I had the girls in 2008.  Before then, I was on an infertility site where I was sucked into the drama of who was getting pregnant before me, and who was being a catty bitch that day (trust me there were so many woman who I wanted to slap daily) but that's really all I did social media wise.  I decided I should start a Facebook page in 2009 and to be honest I have no idea what the hell I used it for.  I guess to show off pictures of my kids...

 So then in 2011 I became a Beachbody coach.  Social media/Facebook was the place I started my business, and how I have continued to make it grow and thrive.  I have friend who are like family, and support groups that keep me going mentally and physically.  I also have family who live in other states who can keep up with the girls and our world.

 Good right?  Where's the ugly? 

If your human like me, there is this little thing called comparing yourself to others that can really smack you in the face when you are CONSTANTLY on social media. 
 We are constantly wondering what people are doing, when they are doing, what they are wearing while they are doing it, and how long it takes them to do it. On a daily basis. 

It's so freaking important for me to check this one Instagram account every single day and wonder how her life is so perfect...her and her husband.  No kids.  They live in Florida. They travel a lot.  They never have a messy house, they have assistants, and they are always a perfect hot mess...everything about them is picture perfect.

There is also this one Facebook page I check daily, but never comment on..she has kids too..and she does what I do...but she does it so perfectly, and so flawlessly...that every time I go to her page, I end up feeling bad about myself.  

But I continue to go back to that page, everyday...and then I feel bad.  Again. 

I seem to sabotage myself. I am so wrapped up in what everyone else is doing, it's distracting me.  Because for the longest time, I thought that going to these pages and seeing their awesomeness would somehow INSPIRE me.  I would read something someday that would make what I'm trying to do easier. I would come upon the magic potion to make MY life perfect and have everything in place all the damn time.

But guess what?

I haven't yet. 

And today, it smacked me like a shit ton of bricks.

I am letting social media not help me, but hurt me.  

The first time I realized social media was hurting me, was last summer when my daughter was talking to me..I kept saying "hang on" and "I will be right there" 

Then I realized that for 10 minutes I was doing NOTHING but going through the newsfeed on Facebook and missing precious time with her.  And yes, precious time IS hearing something totally not important come from my kids mouth.  Everything she says should be important. So I made it a priority to put down my phone when I was with my kids.  And I have done a hell of a job with that.  Watching shows, playing the park...I am in FULL Mom mode 100% of the time, and am very proud of that.  Sure I have an occasional time where I check a message, but it is short lived.  If the message back is long, I wait to answer it.

 

But then there is the time I am alone...I have a few extra minutes while they are in the tub. I sit down, and pick up my phone...and before you know it, I now know what so and so did today, what they ate, what this person wore, and what she did for her workout. 

Why? 

Why do we waste so much of our precious time on this earth, wondering what other people are doing???  

 Has social media formed our brains to be like this?  And the successful people are the ones who have that part figured out?  Those people know that they are being watched, and not to watch...

 

Let me wrap this up by saying I am not some psycho who stalks people, cries in the corner while sucking my thumb wishing I had another life...I love my life. 

I just need to appreciate it more.  I spent the day with one of my twins today, and at one point we were sitting in the front yard looking at the sky...just talking...and I for one second thought "lets take a picture and post it to facebook so the whole world knows we are doing this at this very moment!" 

Then I paused.

It was our moment.

And I kept it to be our moment, before I gave it away to a million people. 

I'm not sure what this means for me, but I do know I am going to be changing the way I run my life.

MY life.