Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Our infertility journey
First came love
To have a baby.
One day, 2 people feel deeply in love. So in love, so quickly that after just one month of dating, the boy asked the girls to move in with him. And you know what? The girl didn't hesitate for one second. She knew that this was it. The ONE.
Yes its true, me and Wes did indeed fall deeply in love. From the moment we met, we both knew that it was something special. Never in a million years did we think that we would have to go down the road of infertility.
Then came no baby
When we first mentioned to my doctor we had been "not careful" for quite sometime, he said well lets take a look. The first thing you do is test the male. If there is anyone out there reading this that is TTC, please make sure this is your first step! Without them, you really have nothing to go on. Anyway, no major problems there, so on we moved to me. First step was testing basically everything! The ONLY thing that came back low was my Prolactin, which is involved in ovulation and egg maturation.
My levels were not too bad, but I did get put on medication to get the levels back down. During all of this, I had been talking with my doctor about my periods, and how bad they were.
I had always had pretty painful, heavy cycles not knowing that it could someday interfere with my ability to have children. After a lot of thinking and planning, we decided to go ahead with a Laproscopic surgery, to check and make sure I was okay.
Conclusion: I had Endometriosis.
We took a few months off for my healing, and then discussed our other options. Our first try on fertility drugs was with the evil drug Clomid.
Yikes is all I can say about that stuff.
We also did a procedure called intra-uterine insemination (IUI) along with the Clomid. An IUI is basically putting the sperm exactly where it's supposed to be, bypassing any endometrial tissue in my tubes, or if the swimmers were "lazy." This was sure to work....right?
WRONG: 3 months in a row of Clomid/IUI combo didn't work.
After almost 4 years of not one single, NOT ONE, positive pregnancy test we talked and decided that although we were not quitting, we would find another doctor. Not only did I have a new job, but also a new job with insurance that covered infertility treatments. So out to seek him or her I did, and found him! The office staff was amazing, and the first meeting we had, he said "we'll do this." It sounds funny, but I knew he meant that he had confidence. We discussed everything with him, and the first thing he suggested was another surgery to see if the Endometriosis had come back. So we set my surgery date, and the only thing I could think of was wow, this guy knows his stuff! The surgery went very well, and he removed more Endometriosis, polyps, and a big, nasty looking cyst. My dreams of becoming a Mother were right around the corner, I could feel it! My spirits were up, and I was already picking out the nursery furniture! Well, the next several months looked like this...
1. 50mg of Clomid
2. 100mg of Clomid
3. 100mg of Clomid
4. 100mg of Clomid
5. 100mg of Clomid/IUI
6. 100mg of Clomid/IUI
7. 150mg of Clomid/IUI (IUI was cancelled)
If you can imagine I was extremely frustrated. Not only was Clomid obviously not working for me, I was becoming depressed. Cycle after cycle of crying, and asking myself what I was doing wrong, what I had done wrong.
I'm sure I made my husband crazy, but he never gave up on me.
He never complained, never said "Hey, lets just face it we can't get pregnant."
We had talked about in vitro fertizilizaion (IVF) but us? The thought of IVF scared me. Because that was it. That was our last chance for a baby. We discussed our options with the doctor, and decided to switch up my fertility medication, and go with Follistim. Follistim kind of scared me. I had to give myself shots (okay, Wes gave them to me) and there was a chance of overstimulating my ovaries, which could cause all sorts of problems. But we went ahead with it, what could hurt right?
Well, that didn't work either.
The next part coming up was a sure sign my doctor was crazy, and shouldn't be helping people get pregnant. We decided to try one more cycle with the Follistim. I was on the phone with the nurse, discussing my options. Should we up the dosage? I didn't respond well to it the first time, so she said sure. She said they don't have a lot of patients in their office doing the Follistim, so let me just pull out the directions....??? I'm sorry? Now, this should of been a HUGE red flag, don't do it!!! But she said we will up the dosage to 100IU's from 75IU's, after she talked to the doctor. He was probably "busy" and said yea whatever. So on we went with the 100IU's of Follistim and IUI.
Now, before I go on, when you are dealing with infertility drugs, there is always the danger of overstimulation. To check on that, your E2 (also known as estrogen or estradiol) levels are measured before you start a cycle, in the middle, and towards the end. This is very, very important information I should have taught myself (because obviously my doctor didn’t have a clue) before I went ahead with my 100IUs of Follistim.
The E2 levels should be 200-600 pg/ml per mature (18 mm) follicle. For each “egg” I have growing on my ovary that is “mature” (18mm) my E2 levels should be in that range. Not staying on top of them puts you at risk for sickness, hospitalization, even death. Obviously you shouldn’t have too many. To make this long story a short one, I ended up sicker than a dog in addition to not pregnant, again. I was overstimulated thanks to my doctor not doing his job right, and was on bed rest for a week. The biggest follicle I had was 56mm. You can Google that if you need to know how bad it was. Trust me. It’s not good.
Bringing in the heavy stuff
Again, Wes and I were sitting down to figure out what on earth to do. We went on birth control pills for a cycle to get the cyst (follicles) to go away. It was time to look into our IVF option. I called insurance and called my doctor. He seemed eager to refer me to and IVF clinic. I was to never hear from him again.
We did start our first IVF cycle. I went into it, nervous and scared. There was so much to do, medication to get ordered, a calendar with my dates of shots, ultrasounds, ect. May 07 was a very busy month trying to get everything organized.
The nurse from my clinics office that was in charge of my cycle, was the most amazing women Ive ever met. Her name was Malia, and I loved her. She was patient and kind, and knew the pain we had been through on this journey, and treated us both with respect, and understood how scared I was.
We talked about when we would be starting this. Should we wait til summer was over? Enjoy it? Go on vacation over the 4th and then come home, wait another cycle? I was due to start Lupron the day we were to arrive in Wisconsin for vacation...well what do we do?? I had no idea. I really didn't. I wanted a baby so bad, but really? Pack my medication on ice? Take a shot every single day??
Well, in the end we did. And I'm glad we did. Wes is pretty awesome at giving shots and the needles were pretty small, so it all worked out. I did have terrible side effects from it though, headaches and dizzy spells. But I really started feeling like crap when we got home. (thankfully)
After the Lupron, came the fertility drugs yet again. My doctor changed up my medication, and so this time I was going to be on a combination of Menopur and Bravelle mixed together, which would also be injected by needle. We did them in my upper thigh, I couldn't do them in my tummy. I was in a boating accident when I was 17 years old, and was hospitalized for a week. They had to give me shots in my stomach to make sure I didn't get blood clots. Ive been scarred ever since!
To have a baby.
One day, 2 people feel deeply in love. So in love, so quickly that after just one month of dating, the boy asked the girls to move in with him. And you know what? The girl didn't hesitate for one second. She knew that this was it. The ONE.
Yes its true, me and Wes did indeed fall deeply in love. From the moment we met, we both knew that it was something special. Never in a million years did we think that we would have to go down the road of infertility.
Then came no baby
When we first mentioned to my doctor we had been "not careful" for quite sometime, he said well lets take a look. The first thing you do is test the male. If there is anyone out there reading this that is TTC, please make sure this is your first step! Without them, you really have nothing to go on. Anyway, no major problems there, so on we moved to me. First step was testing basically everything! The ONLY thing that came back low was my Prolactin, which is involved in ovulation and egg maturation.
My levels were not too bad, but I did get put on medication to get the levels back down. During all of this, I had been talking with my doctor about my periods, and how bad they were.
I had always had pretty painful, heavy cycles not knowing that it could someday interfere with my ability to have children. After a lot of thinking and planning, we decided to go ahead with a Laproscopic surgery, to check and make sure I was okay.
Conclusion: I had Endometriosis.
We took a few months off for my healing, and then discussed our other options. Our first try on fertility drugs was with the evil drug Clomid.
Yikes is all I can say about that stuff.
We also did a procedure called intra-uterine insemination (IUI) along with the Clomid. An IUI is basically putting the sperm exactly where it's supposed to be, bypassing any endometrial tissue in my tubes, or if the swimmers were "lazy." This was sure to work....right?
WRONG: 3 months in a row of Clomid/IUI combo didn't work.
After almost 4 years of not one single, NOT ONE, positive pregnancy test we talked and decided that although we were not quitting, we would find another doctor. Not only did I have a new job, but also a new job with insurance that covered infertility treatments. So out to seek him or her I did, and found him! The office staff was amazing, and the first meeting we had, he said "we'll do this." It sounds funny, but I knew he meant that he had confidence. We discussed everything with him, and the first thing he suggested was another surgery to see if the Endometriosis had come back. So we set my surgery date, and the only thing I could think of was wow, this guy knows his stuff! The surgery went very well, and he removed more Endometriosis, polyps, and a big, nasty looking cyst. My dreams of becoming a Mother were right around the corner, I could feel it! My spirits were up, and I was already picking out the nursery furniture! Well, the next several months looked like this...
1. 50mg of Clomid
2. 100mg of Clomid
3. 100mg of Clomid
4. 100mg of Clomid
5. 100mg of Clomid/IUI
6. 100mg of Clomid/IUI
7. 150mg of Clomid/IUI (IUI was cancelled)
If you can imagine I was extremely frustrated. Not only was Clomid obviously not working for me, I was becoming depressed. Cycle after cycle of crying, and asking myself what I was doing wrong, what I had done wrong.
I'm sure I made my husband crazy, but he never gave up on me.
He never complained, never said "Hey, lets just face it we can't get pregnant."
We had talked about in vitro fertizilizaion (IVF) but us? The thought of IVF scared me. Because that was it. That was our last chance for a baby. We discussed our options with the doctor, and decided to switch up my fertility medication, and go with Follistim. Follistim kind of scared me. I had to give myself shots (okay, Wes gave them to me) and there was a chance of overstimulating my ovaries, which could cause all sorts of problems. But we went ahead with it, what could hurt right?
Well, that didn't work either.
The next part coming up was a sure sign my doctor was crazy, and shouldn't be helping people get pregnant. We decided to try one more cycle with the Follistim. I was on the phone with the nurse, discussing my options. Should we up the dosage? I didn't respond well to it the first time, so she said sure. She said they don't have a lot of patients in their office doing the Follistim, so let me just pull out the directions....??? I'm sorry? Now, this should of been a HUGE red flag, don't do it!!! But she said we will up the dosage to 100IU's from 75IU's, after she talked to the doctor. He was probably "busy" and said yea whatever. So on we went with the 100IU's of Follistim and IUI.
Now, before I go on, when you are dealing with infertility drugs, there is always the danger of overstimulation. To check on that, your E2 (also known as estrogen or estradiol) levels are measured before you start a cycle, in the middle, and towards the end. This is very, very important information I should have taught myself (because obviously my doctor didn’t have a clue) before I went ahead with my 100IUs of Follistim.
The E2 levels should be 200-600 pg/ml per mature (18 mm) follicle. For each “egg” I have growing on my ovary that is “mature” (18mm) my E2 levels should be in that range. Not staying on top of them puts you at risk for sickness, hospitalization, even death. Obviously you shouldn’t have too many. To make this long story a short one, I ended up sicker than a dog in addition to not pregnant, again. I was overstimulated thanks to my doctor not doing his job right, and was on bed rest for a week. The biggest follicle I had was 56mm. You can Google that if you need to know how bad it was. Trust me. It’s not good.
Bringing in the heavy stuff
Again, Wes and I were sitting down to figure out what on earth to do. We went on birth control pills for a cycle to get the cyst (follicles) to go away. It was time to look into our IVF option. I called insurance and called my doctor. He seemed eager to refer me to and IVF clinic. I was to never hear from him again.
We did start our first IVF cycle. I went into it, nervous and scared. There was so much to do, medication to get ordered, a calendar with my dates of shots, ultrasounds, ect. May 07 was a very busy month trying to get everything organized.
The nurse from my clinics office that was in charge of my cycle, was the most amazing women Ive ever met. Her name was Malia, and I loved her. She was patient and kind, and knew the pain we had been through on this journey, and treated us both with respect, and understood how scared I was.
We talked about when we would be starting this. Should we wait til summer was over? Enjoy it? Go on vacation over the 4th and then come home, wait another cycle? I was due to start Lupron the day we were to arrive in Wisconsin for vacation...well what do we do?? I had no idea. I really didn't. I wanted a baby so bad, but really? Pack my medication on ice? Take a shot every single day??
Well, in the end we did. And I'm glad we did. Wes is pretty awesome at giving shots and the needles were pretty small, so it all worked out. I did have terrible side effects from it though, headaches and dizzy spells. But I really started feeling like crap when we got home. (thankfully)
After the Lupron, came the fertility drugs yet again. My doctor changed up my medication, and so this time I was going to be on a combination of Menopur and Bravelle mixed together, which would also be injected by needle. We did them in my upper thigh, I couldn't do them in my tummy. I was in a boating accident when I was 17 years old, and was hospitalized for a week. They had to give me shots in my stomach to make sure I didn't get blood clots. Ive been scarred ever since!
That collection is quite scary looking, but I can assure you that my IVF cycle was the least stressful of them all. Not emotionally, but physically. I was in good hands, my shots were easy, my ultrasounds every other day were quick and painless...nothing like the other place. These people were amazing!
The clinic I was going to, also had a hospital were I could do my ultrasounds to check my egg growth, in my town. So we would have to travel to Indianapolis for the egg retrieval, and the egg transfer (if we got to the egg transfer) which is about 3 hours away. We found a nice hotel right across from the hospital, and one of my best friends works there, so it worked out!!
After 11 days of shots , the day was here! My body had responded well to the medication, and we were on our way to the retrieval!!! I was totally knocked out for it, don't remember a thing. I do remember waking up, and the first thing Wes said was they got 8.
8?
That's it?
All of that, and 8?
I hear of people getting 13-15!!! I only had 8. I was counting myself out already.
My clinic does a 3 day transfer. My babies grew in a dish for 3 days, and then we went back to Indianapolis for the transfer. We decided on 2. We got to the clinic, and I was prepped and ready to go.
It was time!
When the biologist came out, I asked her how they looked, and she said I never say this but these are 2 "perfect" embryos. She told me she never grades them a 4 (the highest they grade) but gave them both a grade 4. I was all smiles if you can imagine.
So the car ride home was intense. Every bump we hit I thought I had lost them....I mean, I was pregnant technically right?
They tell you to wait a certain date before you take a pregnancy test. I of course didn't wait for that date to come.
6 days after my transfer, I tested. I thought I saw something, but didn't know for sure, so I carried on with my day, and took a test the next morning, and this is what I saw.
So I was just a little overwhelmed, and freaked out. I wasn't sure what to do, or think! Wes went and bought me a digital, and here you have it.
I was pregnant!!
Babies!!!
After all of my blood work to make sure everything was going smooth, we had our first ultrasound. The tech started in...Wes immediately saw the second sac. TWINS.
And that was the day my life was changed forever. That was the day, I feel in love with 2 tiny dots on a screen.
They were born on March 19th, 2008. Abigail was 6lbs5oz, and Alexandra was 5lbs8oz.
Here we were in 2014
And here we are now!
Our journey was long, and hard. But we never gave up. I knew in my heart I was going to be a Mother someday....so I leave you with this. Never give up, never stop fighting. Infertility sucks, but there is always hope.
They tell you to wait a certain date before you take a pregnancy test. I of course didn't wait for that date to come.
6 days after my transfer, I tested. I thought I saw something, but didn't know for sure, so I carried on with my day, and took a test the next morning, and this is what I saw.
Babies!!!
After all of my blood work to make sure everything was going smooth, we had our first ultrasound. The tech started in...Wes immediately saw the second sac. TWINS.
They were born on March 19th, 2008. Abigail was 6lbs5oz, and Alexandra was 5lbs8oz.
Here we were in 2014
And here we are now!
Our journey was long, and hard. But we never gave up. I knew in my heart I was going to be a Mother someday....so I leave you with this. Never give up, never stop fighting. Infertility sucks, but there is always hope.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)