I DID IT! :D
Before I go on, I just gotta say this may be a long, pour my heart out kind of post....so bear with me.
I have a history with weight loss. Over the past 6 years I have struggled to see that number I saw on the scale when I finally got pregnant.
130lbs.
I started here, and when I gave birth I weighed 174lbs.
Without boring you to much, lets just say the past few years have been full of ups and downs. In October of 2011, I found this amazing opportunity with this amazing company called Beachbody. I started with Insanity, lost some weight, felt awesome, go back into the 150's I think, and did okay for a bit. Take that pattern, and repeat it...."I did Asylum, did okay for a bit" "I did Combat, did okay for a bit" "I did Turbo Fire, and did okay for a bit"
Do you see this cycle?
If you are taking the time to read this you know I deal with depression. Not just a little depression, but to the core, could knock me on my knees kind of depression. This past winter (December of 2013) I remember barely being able to get out of bed to get the girls ready for school....I would get them there, then come home and lay on the couch, in the dark basement, and think I was sick. I hurt. I even told my husband one day, I thought I was getting the flu. It wasn't the flu. It had come back. But I was scared to admit it. I was scared to sit here and face what was in front of me.
Some how, some way...I let me, fail me, again. When did it happen? I'm not really sure. I remember being at the doctor in early last Spring, and stepping on the scale. 174lbs. I had gotten back up to my weight the day I gave birth to my twins. How did this happen? What on earth was I doing? And not only that...I had this wonderful opportunity in Beachbody, right in front of me...and I was throwing it all away. I was letting my coaches down, my team down, my family down, and ME down.
I would like to tell you that something clicked then. And maybe a little bit did. I started running....I became a runner. I loved every second of it, and felt on top of the world when I could run a 5K. Because I had done it.
And then....fall came, winter came....and that's when my depression came back.
I had finally broken out of the 170's and got down to 160, but I was stuck there for what seemed like forever. October 2013, is when I saw that number on the scale. It was better then 174 right?
When I look back, I realize I had the tools to succeed. I knew what I needed to do. I just didn't do them. I tried here and there, but it never, ever really CLICKED in my head....I hate cooking, hate meal prepping, hate counting calories, didn't know crap about "macros" and still am not fully sure on those FYI...and basically I made every excuse in the book why I couldn't succeed.
In comes the 21 day fix.
I was scared. I was tempted to just not do it. But a program that can teach you how to eat clean, eat the right amount of calories without weighing your food, figure out your macros, and not only that....it comes with containers to fill your food.....and if it fits in the container, well, you can eat it!
So, how did I do on this program? Did I make it? Did I fail again?
Not a chance.
8.5 inches, and 11lbs GONE.
I made it. I did it. You know what happened? Something clicked. I finally could eat clean, eat good, eat within my calorie range, get my macros under control, and did it. I feel amazing. I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out. I wanted someone to basically do this for me...and well, the 21 day fix pretty much did it for me!
So happy, so blessed. So incredibly happy to live with a smile on my face, and feel like that smile is REAL.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. :)
